A Straight Man’s Thoughts on Gay Marriage

12 11 2008

After Prop 8 passed in California, I had strong feelings of anger, sadness, and depression. I struggled to comprehend that over 5.6 million people in California saw me as a second-class citizen. Although I knew others were in the same predicament as I was, I still felt as though my wife, Julie, and I were all alone. After attending a gathering to discuss the passing of Prop 8 at the San Diego LGBT Center, I began to feel a little better and have some hope.

Something else that tremendously helped me shift my focus from those who voted for the proposition to those 5.1 million (plus) people who voted NO on Prop 8 was Brian, one of my coworkers. Brian is a married, straight man, with a beautiful two-year-old daughter. Brian and I had several discussion on various topics, including the true purpose of a constitution, marriage as a whole, love, religion, same-sex marriages, and struggles for rights in U.S. history. Through all of these discussions, I began to feel hope and a growing pride in those who stand with us in our struggle.

In my Nested Lez column in this month’s edition of The Lavender Lens, I highlighted a portion of an email that Brian had written to a coworker about marriage. Below, the text of that email is presented in its entirety. Read the rest of this entry »

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Change Comes Slowly – San Diego LGBT Center Prop 8 Gathering

5 11 2008

Hello Nested Lez Readers.

I want to address the issues that have stemmed from last night’s elections – our first African-American President and the passing of California’s Prop 8. However, right now, I know that anything I try to write will be distorted my my hurt and my anger regarding Prop 8.

I will address the election, but I need some time to process my emotions a bit. That being said, I want to share an email message from Read the rest of this entry »





Letter from Betty DeGeneres – Support Gay Marriage

10 09 2008

I am on the email list for Equality California. It is a great way to stay updated on the fight to keep same-sex marriage rights in California. If you aren’t on their mailing list, I strongly encourage you to join.

In an email that I received today, there was a message from Betty DeGeneres (yes, Ellen DeGeneres’s mom). In case you are not on the mailing list, I wanted to share the email with you and encourage you to make a donation to help Equality California and to vote NO on Prop 8. Here’s Betty’s letter: Read the rest of this entry »





Support Same-sex Marriage Equality – Vote NO on CA Prop 8

16 07 2008

On Saturday, July 12, 2008 (exactly 5 years after our commitment ceremony), my partner Julie and I went to the County Administration building, turned in the necessary paperwork, and got legally married. Unlike our commitment ceremony (we had always considered it a wedding), which had about 100 guests, there were four witnesses to our civil ceremony. We considered it a renewal of our vows, but it was so much more. Read the rest of this entry »





Not Surprised by the Governor’s Veto of Same Sex Marriage Bill

13 10 2007

Unfortunately, I can’t say that I’m surprised that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed AB43, the bill that supported same sex marriage in California. Granted, a small part of me had hoped that the governor would have a change of heart like Jerry Sanders, the Republican mayor of San Diego, but in my heart, I knew he would veto the bill. Am I disappointed, of course. But, this is the second time that a bill like this has made it as far as the governor’s desk. Who knows, maybe the third time is a charm.

I also need to remember that the California Supreme Court is currently investigating if Proposition 22, which was voted on in March 2000 and bans same sex marriage, is unconstitutional. So my friends, there is still hope. Read the rest of this entry »