Yes, it is sad but true, the California Supreme Court upheld Prop 8, which has stripped away the right of same-sex couples to marry in the state. However, the Supreme Court did allow those 18,000 who were legally married in the state between the original Supreme Court decision allowing same-sex marriage in 2008 and the fateful November 2008 election to remain married. These marriages were not retroactively revoked. Although I am pleased that my marriage is still acknowledged by the State, I am appalled that my friends will not be granted that same opportunity to not only express their their love, but also receive the benefits and respect associated with marriage. My fight is for all of those who no longer have the option of a civil marriage in the state of California.

Wow! What a rush! I have decided that this year was going to be my year to jump and I wasn’t kidding!

Quick! Think of 8 women in your life? Could be your mom, sisters, friends, wife, partner, girlfriend, daughter, nieces, coworkers, and even yourself. Did you think of 8? OK, now pick one of those to get breast cancer. Not something you want to do, is it? Well, lucky for you, you don’t have to make that decision of who gets breast cancer. Unlucky for you, chances are 1 of those 8 women will get breast cancer.

Hello All. I just wanted to write a quick post to remind you all to count your blessings. Life these days can be a bit trying and overwhelming, but things could be worse.

A few weeks ago, I got a chance to spend a weekend with a good friend. A week later she was sent to Sri Lanka for work. A building connected to her hotel was bombed in an aerial attack.

Wow. Once the holidays started, my schedule got pretty hectic. There were, of course, the obligatory holiday gatherings, the visits to family, shopping, wrapping, traveling, side jobs to make some extra cash, and the list goes on and on. In the frenzied pace of the holidays, it looks like I overlooked the blog. Whoops. Sorry about that folks. Okay, it’s time to get back on track.

My place of employment, which shall remain nameless, has been going through some major issues and the holidays and the New Year brought two waves of layoffs and a substantial reduction of salaries across the board for anyone who kept her or his job. Following the salary reduction (and almost loss of benefits), more people left unable to continue in the current environment. (Oh, did I mention that we hadn’t been paid on time for about 6 months – checks are typically anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks late.) The exodus of people (and pay) made things a bit strained and took a bit of a toll on me, from which I am starting to recover.

Many actions are taking place in the LGBT community regarding the passage of this California proposition. As many of you know, there have been (and continue to be) many peaceful protest marches and rallies calling attention to the discrimination involved in the passing of Prop 8. Also, opponents to Prop 8 have been looking at where the campaign went wrong and how we failed to reach enough California voters.

Also, there are many legal battles beginning, challenging the validity of Prop 8 in the first place. The most prominent push is that Prop 8 does not merely amend the State’s Constitution, but it fundamentally alters the Constitution, which cannot be decided by a majority vote. Many asked why we did not fight this before. The truth is,

After Prop 8 passed in California, I had strong feelings of anger, sadness, and depression. I struggled to comprehend that over 5.6 million people in California saw me as a second-class citizen. Although I knew others were in the same predicament as I was, I still felt as though my wife, Julie, and I were all alone. After attending a gathering to discuss the passing of Prop 8 at the San Diego LGBT Center, I began to feel a little better and have some hope.

Something else that tremendously helped me shift my focus from those who voted for the proposition to those 5.1 million (plus) people who voted NO on Prop 8 was Brian, one of my coworkers. Brian is a married, straight man, with a beautiful two-year-old daughter. Brian and I had several discussion on various topics, including the true purpose of a constitution, marriage as a whole, love, religion, same-sex marriages, and struggles for rights in U.S. history. Through all of these discussions, I began to feel hope and a growing pride in those who stand with us in our struggle.

In my Nested Lez column in this month’s edition of The Lavender Lens, I highlighted a portion of an email that Brian had written to a coworker about marriage. Below, the text of that email is presented in its entirety.

Hello Nested Lez Readers.

I want to address the issues that have stemmed from last night’s elections – our first African-American President and the passing of California’s Prop 8. However, right now, I know that anything I try to write will be distorted my my hurt and my anger regarding Prop 8.

I will address the election, but I need some time to process my emotions a bit. That being said, I want to share an email message from

I have highlighted the importance of voting NO on California’s Prop 8, but today I want to share a personal email that I sent to my family and friends. No matter where they lived (from California to New Jersey to Japan), my friends and family received this email. While it is very important to spread this message to Californians, I think that everyone should be aware of the situation (and given a chance to help).

I don’t care who you vote for (well, that’s not entirely true), but please make sure that you vote. This 2008 election is a very important one and if you let it pass without letting your voice be heard, then you must not care a lot about your future and the future of our great (yet currently slightly shaky) country.